Does such a thing as unconditional love really exist or is it just an excuse used by some parents who are too stubborn to admit their own failures?
You hear it often. The child who becomes a drug dealer, a rapist, a killer or (god forbid) a politician! “Yes I will stand by my son/daughter. I know what they did was wrong but I forgive them’.
I love my daughter but is it unconditional love? Hell no! There are definitely conditions attached – on both sides. My child is an adult and old enough to make her own decisions, whether I think they are right or wrong. And I will almost always love her for those decisions but that only goes so far. Once our children reach adulthood it’s a partnership rather than a dominant / subservient relationship. And like any other partnership, battle lines get drawn.
Erin reminded me yesterday, as she does often, that I grounded her when she was 18. You bet I did! She was still living under my roof. I have zero recollection why I tried to ground her because there were many incidents which could’ve warranted that punishment. Erin liked to party, like most teenagers. Thankfully I only ever got to see the aftermath and not the shenanigans she presumably got up to at the parties. I recall being woken in the early hours of the morning most weekends to the name ‘Huey’ being cried out from the bathroom. If you’re unsure who Huey is, he’s the little guy who lives in the toilet bowl who they call out for after one too many drinks! So was it one of these episodes I tried to punish her for?
If I could still ground her or put her on the naughty step I bloody well would, something that the parents of those killers and politicians should have done a lot more of if you ask me. I’m sure Erin would love to do the same to me too!
Is there anything I could not forgive my daughter? Is there anything Erin could not forgive me for? I’m sure there are, let’s just hope we never have to find out.